gracie has a baby!

My, my, my…how time flies.

I remember writing about my sister’s birth. I remember retreating to that childlike mental space; remembering how that feels as a child to attempt to understand the process of new life coming into the world. The same thing is happening again – only I’m an adult.

And I still don’t fully understand it.

But alas, we’re not meant to understand it all, I suppose.

My younger sister now has a baby girl named Shannon. Shannon was 2 weeks late; so we were all relieved when she finally popped out. She came out screaming, with bright blue eyes and a full head of dark brown hair. She’s amazing.

My sister and her husband are excited, but terrified. Because the truth is, Shannon isn’t their first. They had a still birth just last year. That baby was also a girl, her name was to be Elizabeth. But she died a week before her due date; so Gracie still had to deliver her.

That was one of the hardest things I’ve ever seen my sister endure. Probably for the rest of her life – she will always wonder what could have been. What would Elizabeth have been like? Would she be a singer like her mother? Or a painter like her Dad?

Either way, God has given them a new life to hold on to. But I know Gracie is worried she might hold on too tightly.

Her husband, Ben, is also a little afraid. But he is one of the strongest, most peaceful men I’ve ever met. I just know that as they lean on each other, their lives will blossom. And so will little Shannon.

Oh, I get so excited when I remember that I’m now an Aunt!!! I can’t wait to spoil her with toys and trips and tacos. Shannon is my first niece; so our bond will be special.

Well, I’m gonna go visit them for the 3rd time this week. I have food to give them – and I can’t get enough of my little baby girl!

‘Till next time! Peace, y’all!

 

 

Gracie’s first big loss

I love being a big sister. I have so many opportunities to show Gracie how much I love her.

But sometimes it’s a challenge…because I want her to recognize my love and appreciate it. And usually, she does. So I’ve come to expect it.

But there are some moments in a sisterhood – or in any loving relationship – when you need to give without expecting to receive. You need to give love when they need love and not worry about getting it back.

This is one of those times.

My younger sister Gracie recently lost her best friend. She was killed in a car accident. It was an icy night, and the driver who hit her had been drinking.

Gracie isn’t doing well. So I sent her flowers.

Aside from attending the funeral with flowers, I also sent flowers to Gracie. I got them from fallonsflowers.com. They were her friend Susan’s favorite – black-eyed susans. Susan’s family received a large arrangement for the funeral home, and Gracie will be getting a regular delivery on the 2nd of every month. Sometimes they will be black-eyed susans, sometimes they won’t.

Either way, they will remind Gracie that Susan is now in Heaven. Just like the new life in these flowers that she gets every month; we too will have new life. Renewed life. Day by day, for eternity, we will live. That’s the hope we have in Jesus, and that’s the hope that Gracie clings to when she thinks about Susan’s passing.

Susan passed too soon. Way too soon. She was beautiful, talented, not yet married. But her parents are trusting God’s sovereign plan over the pain in this world. They’ve even reached out to the young man who drove drunk and killed their daughter. They’re mentoring him and paying for his rehabilitation process.

See, life is peppered with beauty.

You just have to adjust your sight…and soon, you too will see the light.

gracie’s first job

I am so proud of my little sister. She landed her first job today as a hostess in a local upscale restuaurant. I’m going to give her some advice, as causally as possible.

I’m going to tell her to work hard. Restaurant owners respect you when they see that you’re working hard.

I’m going to tell her to eat all the food. Eat everything they give you. Try it all. And particularly at the restaurant where she’ll be working. It’s a good one.

I’m going to tell her to be very, very careful not to flirt with the men she works with. I started working as a hostess as a self-conscious 19-year-old single girl. My first taste of attention and I was hooked. I’m going to tell her she’s beautiful before all those men get the chance to tell her. I’m going to do all I can to see that she believes she’s beautiful – no matter how she does her hair or what she wears. She’s beautiful.

I’m going to tell her not to let customer’s attitudes affect her. If they’re in a bad mood, don’t let thier mood affect yours. Draw the line and hold to it.

I’m going to tell her to wear comfortable shoes. Though you might feel better about yourself if you wear heels, you’re going to be standing and walking around a lot. Your feet/back/whole body will hurt if you don’t take care of your feet and wear well-made, comfortable shoes.

 

my maid of honor: my little sister

I got married last month. Here is a note given to me by my maid of honor, AKA my little sister Gracie.

First, let me preface it by saying this – I took a backseat to my wedding. I decided not to plan anything. I wanted to be surprised.  I didn’t know where the wedding was going to be, what the invitations looked like, what the ceremony would entail. The only things I knew for sure were my dress, the cake, and my vows.

My sister Gracie is a wedding planner. She knows me better than any of my friends, and she takes pride in her work. So, she wanted to do all of it.

I let her. She wrote me this note.

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My sister,

I love you. I’ve always loved you; and I’ve always felt loved by you. Despite the things mom and dad have said about us; about how you acted towards me when I was little – I’ve always felt loved by you.

And because of this, I wanted to take it upon myself to plan your entire wedding.

You’re an amazing gal, Jordan. I can’t think of any other woman who would allow her sister to plan her entire wedding…I’m so grateful for your carefree spirit. I loved every part of it.

My favorite part was planning the flowers. Just in case you ever have any need for a florist in the future – I have the perfect one. It was my first time working with Thompson’s-Westwood Florist.

I know your favorite color is orange. Thankfully, this Fredericksburg, Virginia florist did the perfect job creating arrangements that feature your favorite color.

I can’t wait for you to see them.

Love,

Gracie

little sister’s wedding

I hate to say it…but I’m that one friend who is friends with everyone. Therefore, I’ve been in a lot of weddings.

But my favorite wedding that I’ve been to thus far…is my little sister’s wedding.

My little sister met her husband in Raleigh, North Carolina at Elevation Church. She sings on the worship team and he’s on the tech team for the morning services. Mutual friends introduced them.

He has said that from the moment he met her, he knew she was his wife. She, however, was unsure.

She wasn’t unsure about being attracted to him. She wasn’t unsure about the legitimacy of his faith. She wasn’t unsure about his ability to lead the family and father her children.

She was unsure about our family’s reaction to his skin color.

Me and my sister are white, and her husband is black.

But, she prayed about it, told him her feelings, and they worked through it with both families. And as a result, the wedding was truly magnificent.

Two very different cultures – one Southern black, the other Northern white – both Christian, came together to commemorate a heavenly conglomeration of love. The food? Pizza and fried chicken. The music? A little bit of everything. The prayers? Powerful, powerful, powerful. The flowers? Gorgeous…and so very colorful. Fallon’s Flowers did incredible work.

Overall, the wedding was proof that as Christians meet other people who share their faith but who don’t look like them or have a similar background as them, they are exposed to more of God’s image.

And what more beautiful way to capture that than at a wedding?

when gracie was born

I was only 3 when Gracie was born. But my parents remember the event vividly – and love to tell me about it.

They love to tell me how angry I was that I was now no longer the only child. They love to tell me that  I cried whenever she cried, to try to steal the attention from her. They love to make me feel selfish.

Human nature is interesting. No one can know the mind of an individual except for that particular individual. But if someone who that person loves tells her – you are selfish, you did this for selfish reasons…she begins to believe that she is indeed selfish.

And that’s a lie.

And…..that only REINFORCES that mindset! It does not enable change. It enables them to get trapped.

As I get older, I am getting better at distinguinshing between a truth and a lie. I am geting better at realizing when I’m compromising truth just to smooth things over between my parents. And I’m gaining the confidence to speak up for myself.

I haven’t defended myself to my parents just yet. But when I do, here’s what I will say…

I will say…

“I am not selfish. I love my sister, and I always have. I loved her when she was born. And that’s why I cried when she cried….not because I wanted to steal the attention from her…but because I empathized with her. I felt her pain with her. She was the closest human being to me. I understood her before she could even speak. And I will always work towards understanding her, for the rest of our lives.”

Now, my actions need to match my words. And Gracie needs to know that I feel that way, too. Despite my parents’ claims that I’m selfish…God is good. And He knows me. I’ll let his definition of me define me.

As my good friend John Mayer said…

“I’m in repair…I’m not together, but I’m gettting there.”

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